End of Days: Beers for the Apocalypse

The end is nigh! Every great civilization throughout history has fallen in one way or another and why should we be the exception?

The Mayans, in all of their diligence regarding astronomy, have given us until December 21st of this year before the end of days. They say that the god Quetzalcoatl, depicted as a feathered serpent, will return from the sea and that will be that. But, we know better.

If we truly are on the brink of apocalyptic ruin, we must consider the possibility that it will be zombies who will function as the instrument of our demise. So board up the house, stock up on rations, and for the love of surviving a zombie apocalypse, stock up the fridge!

In the war room here at Blog About Beer, we have been strategizing various scenarios regarding the end of civilization as we know it. Specifically: What beers to drink during this tumultuous time.

Charged with creating a beer menu to ride out this proverbial storm, we undertook the laborious task of finding appropriate beers for those preparing for this event.

Zombie Apocalypse Beers

10 Barrel Brewing Apocalypse IPA

Calling a spade a spade is first on the menu, denial gets us nowhere. It’s the apocalypse, so let’s start off with a beer worthy of the title! 10 Barrel Brewing’s Apocalypse IPA. A northwest American-Style IPA with citrusy hop aromas and hints of pine, this 6.5% ABV IPA is very drinkable. The hops flavor is a tad tight but opens up over the course of partaking. The roasted breadiness in the flavor adds appeal for those not-so-hot on the style. So even if you’re stuck in a bunker with non IPA drinkers, they may still enjoy this brew.

Hopworks Urban Brewery Survival 7-Grain Stout

After the dust has settled we must next focus on survival. So while you’re boarding up the farmhouse and taking stock of rations, pop the top on a HUB Brewing 7 Grain Survival Stout. Although finished with 20 pounds of cold-pressed Stumptown coffee, there is only a hint of it in the taste. Tobacco is present on the nose as well as the taste. Creamy malt and herbal hop notes help balance the earthiness of the 7 grains. The 7 grains, Barley, Wheat, Oats, Amaranth, Quinoa, Spelt, and Kamut make this a very full flavor yet drinkable stout.

Lompoc Brewing Monster Mash Imperial Porter

Next we have to realize that things really do go bump in the night. And the monsters rap-rap-rapping at the door are coming for you. Better crack open a Lompoc Brewing Monster Mash to wait out the night! Aged in Bourbon Whiskey Barrels, this imperial porter is bottled 2 years after it is brewed. This 8.1% ABV bad boy smells of malt, chocolate, and toffee with a slight roasty smell and a hint of tobacco. There is a woody quality that is expected considering the barrel aging. Considering the high ABV, this brew does a great job masking the alcohol content. Sweeter than the nose would suggest, the mouthfeel of this beverage is truly a delicious Monster Mash!

Captured By Porches Captured by Corpses Undead Porter

The re-animated bodies are looking for fresh meat so take heed! Captured by Porches Brewing offers us their appropriately named, Punctured by Corpses Undead Porter to remind us of the threat at hand. Ironically vegan, this 6.3% ABV porter has a roasted, mild hops, and toffee aroma with a nutty, slightly bitter taste. There is a slight vegetable taste on this brew as well. The nice malty finish makes being boarded up in a shack almost bearable!

Epic Brewing Brainless on Peaches

It doesn’t take “brains” to realize why this last one goes on the list. EPIC Brewing Brainless on Peaches is the perfect brew to toast those brainless corpses pounding on the door! Aged in French Chardonnay casks with organic peach puree, this beer has a medium body with crispness throughout. Not a strong peach flavor considering the process. At 10.3% ABV, this brainless beast has an alcohol burn but is actually quite civilized considering the potency.

So don’t “lose your head,” there are plenty of options out there for beer during these trying times. Zombies or not, these “grave” times too will pass!

What will you be drinking on December 21st?

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About Ryan Van Brunt

Ryan is from Vancouver, Washington, a mere stone’s throw away from Portland, Oregon. Along with a love of craft beer and writing, he's a sucker for 80’s movies, hair metal, and most all other pop-culture.

5 comments

  1. Just a note there were a few other beers we were trying to get our hands on, but being on the West coast we used what we could. Luckily Oregon is host to quite a few perfectly name beers.

    Yes, Three Floyds Zombie Dust would be perfect. We just can get it here. If anyone wants to send us a bottle, just hit us up and we could work out a trade.

  2. Full Pint Night of the Living Stout. You gotta see the label: http://fullpintbrewing.com/beer/night-of-the-living-stout/

  3. Le Fin du Monde French Canadian for “The End of The World”

  4. Good list. Howe Sound Megadestroyer Imperial Licorice Stout could get things going….

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